♫♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪
Christmas "Holiday" Songs
♫♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪Popular Liberal Christmas Songs for 2009 "Holiday" Season
"Tingle Bells" -by CHRIS MATTHEWS
"It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Every Other Day" -by THE ACLU ORCHESTRA
"What Child Prostitute Is This?" -by THE ACORN COMMUNITY CHOIR
Popular Conservative Christmas Songs for the 2009 "Christmas" Season
"I'll be broke for Christmas"-by The Working Middle Class
"Satan Claus is Coming to Town"-by Barry Obama
"All I Want for Christmas is Obama Impeached" -by the Conservatives
~ ♪♫ On the 12th day of Christmas Obama gave to me♫♪
12 KSM Jurors
11 $Trillion Debt
10% Unemployment
9 Communist Czars
8 Adoring Networks
7 Bush Blamers
6 Death Panels,
FIIIIIVE Wars on FOX.........
4 Years of Hell,
3 Crashing Polls
2 Teleprompters
and a Marxist Ideo-lo-gy! ♫♪
TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE JOINED OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE PLAN:
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."
(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "an apple a day."
(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.
(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."
(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE PLAN:
(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape.
Liberals Think You Might Be a Redneck...
You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God.'
You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'
You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.
You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces veterans with great respect, and always have.
You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an American flag, nor intend to.
You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening..
You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and raised your kids to do the same.
You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
Jay Leno – “Do you know what Barack Obama’s middle name is? Hussein. Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been Kerry.”
Conan O’Brien – “The Reverend Jesse Jackson told CNN that he’s planning to endorse Barrack Obama for president. Experts say this is a risky move for Jackson, because hardly anything rhymes with “Barack Obama.”
Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp?
A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.
Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes.
Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A: It stands between him and the First.
Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and the typical Obama backer?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: What's the difference between Simba and Obama?
A: Simba is an African lion while Obama is a lyin' African.
Q. Why did Obama cross the road?
A: To apologize to the other side.
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon
Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.
Q. Why won’t Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It shows that he didn’t have a virgin birth.
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama.
Q. Why wouldn’t Barack salute the American flag?
A. It was ours.
Q. Why did Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Carter doesn’t want to be the worst President in history.
"The dog ate my birth certificate."– Barack Hussein Obama
America needs Obamacare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
Japanese scientists have invented a camera with a shutter speed so fast it can actually photograph Obama with his mouth shut.
They're not illegal aliens; they're undocumented Democrats
Obama for Gun control? At least his wife believes in the right to bare arms.
I'm all for gun control, using 2 hands.
At a recent Obama speech there was a guy in the back of the hall screaming anti-American slogans and making hateful racist remarks. They turned the house lights up and it was Reverend Wright.. For a moment Obama thought he was back in church and yelled, "Can I get an Amen"?
Why Obama Didn't Get the Olympics . . .
10. Dead people can't vote at IOC meetings
9. Obama distracted by 25 min meeting with Gen. McChrystal
8. Who cares if Obama couldn't talk the IOC into Chicago? He'll be able to talk Iran out of nukes.
7. The impediment is Israel still building settlements.
6. Obviously no president would have been able to accomplish it.
5. We've been quite clear and said all along that we didn't want the Olympics.
4. This isn't about the number of Olympics "lost", it's about the number of Olympics "saved" or "created".
3. Clearly not enough wise Latina judges on the committee
2. Because the IOC is racist.
1. It's George Bush's fault.
HOW TO START EACH DAY
WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK
Open a new file in your computer.
Name it 'Barack Obama'.
Send it to the Recycle Bin.
Empty the Recycle Bin.
Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?'
Firmly Click 'Yes.'
Feel better?
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